'n Studie van gay mans se verhouding met hul ouers voor en na openbaarmaking van hul seksuele oriëntasie

Matthews, Hambly Randall (Stellenbosch : Stellenbosch University, 2002-03)

Thesis (MA)--Stellenbosch University, 2002.

Thesis

ENGLISH ABSTRACT: The aim of this study was to explore gay men's relationship with their parents before and after the revelation of their sexual orientation towards their parent(s). Six men, who voluntarily offered to participate in the study, were interviewed by means of a semi-structured interview. These interviews were initially tape recorded and there after transcribed by the researcher. To be included in the study the participants had to comply with the following criteria: i) they had to be male; ii) 18 years or older; iii) have revealed their sexual orientation towards one or both parents; vi) be English or Afrikaans speaking; v) reside within Paarl, Stellenbosch or Cape Town; and vi) accept that no remuneration would be received for participation in this research. The process by which data was analysed mainly included : The organisation of data, the generation of categories, themes and patterns, testing the emerging categories and patterns, seeking alternative explanations, and writing the final report. Findings from the research study include four main themes, with ten sub-themes identified. Firstly, the nature of the relationship between the mother and the gay son before disclosure of the sons' sexual orientation. The associated sub-themes were: i) Confirmation that the revelation was usually first made towards the mother or siblings, ii) the stadium of self-awareness and process of self-empowering of the son about his gay identity before disclosure towards the mother, iii) mentioning that the mother was aware of the sons' sexual preferences before disclosure, and iv) the relationship between mother and son and the supporting role that she plays within the parental context after disclosure. Secondly, the nature of the relationship between the father and the gay son before the revelation of the sons' sexual orientation. The associated sub-themes were: i) mention of a patriarchal system that existed within the parental relationship, which could be linked to the fathers' social perception, including, amongst others, homophobia, and ii) the father/son relationship after disclosure of the sons' sexual orientation. Thirdly, parental involvement regarding acceptance and support after disclosure of the sons' sexual orientation. The associated sub-themes are:i) the avoidance of the gay subject by the parents during communication within the family context, ii) the sensitivity and avoidance of discussions about lovers or companions within the family relationship, and iii) the regularity of contact between the parent(s) and their gay son after disclosure. Lastly, the nature of the relationship between the gay brother and his siblings before the revelation of his sexual orientation. The associated sub-theme were: i) the unconditional acceptance and support of the siblings. These themes are subsequently discussed in terms of existing research literature in this field of study.

AFRIKAANSE OPSOMMING: Die doel van hierdie studie was om die verhouding wat tussen gay mans en hul ouer(s) bestaan het voor en na openbaarmaking van die seun se seksuele orientasie aan die ouer(s), te verken. Ses mans wat vrywilliglik aangebied het tot deelname aan die ondersoek, is deur middel van 'n semi-gestruktureerde onderhoud ondervra. Hierdie onderhoude is eers op band geneem en daarna deur die navorser verbatim getranskribeer. Die riglyne vir insluiting tot die studie was dat die deelnemers aan die volgende kriteria moes voldoen: i) hulle moes manlik wees; ii) 18 jaar en ouer; iii) alreeds hul seksuele orientasie teenoor een of beide ouers bekend gemaak het; iv) Engels of Afrikaanssprekend; v) woonagtig in Paarl, Stellenbosch of Kaapstad; en vi) aanvaar het dat geen besoldiging vir deelname aan die navorsing ontvang sal word nie. Die proses van data-analise het hoofsaaklik ingesluit: Die organisering van data; die generering van kategoriee, temas en patrone; die toetsing van sigbaarwordende temas; soeke na alternatiewe verduidelikings en die skryf van die finale verslag. Bevindinge uit die navorsingstudie sluit in vier hooftemas met tien subtemas wat gei'dentifiseer is. Eerstens, die aard van die verhouding tussen moeder en gay seun voor die openbaarmaking van die seun se seksuele orientasie. Die geassosieerde subtemas was: i) die bevestiging dat die openbaarmaking meestal eerstens teenoor die moeder of sibbe sou geskied, (ii) die selfbewustheidstadium en die selfbemagtigingsproses van die seun ten opsigte van sy gay identiteit voor die openbaarmaking teenoor dikwels die moeder, (iii) die vermelding dat die moeder bewus was van die seun se seksuele orientasie reeds voor openbaarmaking, en (iv) die moeder-en-seun-verhouding en die ondersteunende rol wat sy binne ouerverband inneem na bekendwording van die seun se seksuele orientasie. Tweedens, die aard van die verhouding tussen vader en gay seun voor openbaarmaking van die seun se seksuele orientasie. Die geassosieerde subtemas was: (i) die vermelding van 'n patriargale sisteem wat binne gesinsverband bestaan het, en wat ook saamhang met die vader se sosiale persepsies wat onder andere homofobie insluit, en (ii) die vader-en-seun-verhouding na die bekendwording van die seun se seksuele orientasie. Derdens, ouerbetrokkenheid in terme van aanvaarding en ondersteuning na bekendwording van die seun se seksuele orientasie. Die subtemas wat hieruit gevloei het, was: (i) die kommunikatiewe vermyding van die gay onderwerp deur die ouer(s) binne gesinsverband, (ii) die sensitiwiteit en vermyding van gesprekke oor minnaars of metgeselle binne ouerverband, en (iii) die gereeldheid van kontak tussen ouer(s) en gay seun na bekendwording van die seun se seksuele orientasie. Laastens, die aard van die verhouding tussen gay broer en sibbe voor openbaarmaking van die broer se seksuele orientasie. Die geassosieerde subtema was: (i) die onvoorwaardelike aanvaarding en ondersteuning deur die sibbe. Die temas is vervolgens bespreek in terme van bestaande navorsingsliteratuur oor die onderwerp.

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